on pregnancy announcements and fighting bitterness

March 2016

For months, I have been dreaming up different ideas of how to announce that we are pregnant, once it happens. I calculate in my head when we would be about 12 weeks and ready to start telling people. I think through fun ways to tell our family members and our friends. And as for how I will tell Eric – I have had that planned out since before we even started trying.

As we get further along in this journey, there are some months that I try to not think about when a baby would be due, or when we will be seeing our family next so we can tell them. It just gets hard to then not have anything to announce.

And as we get further along in the journey, my heart sinks a little as I see others announcing their pregnancy news. Sometimes in the exact ways I was hoping we would get to. And at the exact time. Yet they are the ones with the ultrasound picture and the hundreds of “likes,” while I am regretting that I still check social media.

I feel overjoyed when I think about what it will be like, one day, when we do get to announce a pregnancy. We have so many sweet friends who have been praying for us throughout this journey, and I know it will be an incredible celebration of God’s work and His perfect timing when that day comes.

Which means that feeling, that celebration, is what others are experiencing as they post to social media announcing a little one joining their family.

That’s why I don’t want to let myself be bitter when I see those – because I know what an incredible miracle it is for a healthy pregnancy to occur, even if it happened right away for someone else. How much more of a God-thing is it, even, that it did happen so quickly!

This also means that I don’t want my friends to be fearful of sharing their wonderful news with me. I promise I will be 100% excited for you – and even if I do get in my car and cry, it’s not because I am hurt by what God is doing in your life. It’s because I am still wrestling with God and what He is doing with me.

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