We once thought we would get to work together – back when we thought we were joining a ministry, the both of us. We had worked together once before, a brief period at the same company. Driving to work together daily was fun, but also convenient since we only had one car. And the time we had to take that one car to the shop to be repaired, we rode our bikes to work. There was something so sweet about taking a break during the day to grab something to drink and meander up to your desk just to say hi and kiss you on the cheek. If I had a bad day, I could send you an instant message and ask you to meet me in the break room, and you could just hug me for a minute, reminding me that everything was going to be okay.
We dreamed about working together not just for convenience and kisses, though. We loved the idea of working for the same purpose, of being united together in our daily goals and plans and spent energy.
Yet that’s not what happened. We work on opposite sides of town and spend our energies differently, me for college students and you for pet treats. Once again, we only have one car, so thank goodness for your motorcycle to allow for our separate schedules and transportation needs.
Despite our different locations and goals and tasks, though, I find that we do still work together. Our place of unity, of working together, of shared vision, is our home. Home is where we are a team.
We’re still in the “newlywed” stage of home ownership, where people are frequently asking us how we like our new house. We usually smile and talk about how fun it has been and what current projects we are working on to make it our own. You have been building that screened in porch, and even though it is taking longer than you hoped (definitely not a weekend project), I am super excited about how it is turning out. I’ve been trying to brainstorm new ideas for our bedroom and the office, and there are still some boxes nagging at me from the upstairs closet. It’s been so fun to work together to tangibly create “our space” and decide what we want to change or keep.
But our new house isn’t just special to me because of the porches or the walk in closet or the spacious kitchen. The working together I am thinking of is not only in the physical and tangible. The significance of our house is the space of home, the space for us to create together, to work together, to live together. It’s where we engage in ministry and community. It’s where we battle for our marriage and for our friends’ marriages and for our families in prayer. Home is where we will one day work together (and learn together) in raising our own family. As Anne Morrow Lindbergh wrote, “The web of marriage is made by propinquity, in the day to day living side by side, looking outward and working outward in the same direction.” The side by side work is my favorite, because you are the one by my side.
Let’s keep spinning this web together.
Each month, I write a letter to participate with Amber Haines in the “Marriage Letters” series on her blog. I love getting to develop this practice of blessing my husband and our marriage. You should also check out Amber’s most recent marriage letter and the others that are linked up to her post.