it’s the thrill of the {moment before the} fight

there is something exhilarating about the moment you realize you are headed into battle.

like in middle school, when we would play capture the flag – those few seconds right before the whistle blew, when we were each planning our strategies and eyeing the other team and anticipating the yell to “charge!”

like in high school, right before basketball games – we would be standing in a line at the entrance to the gym, and the first notes of “eye of the tiger” would play, signaling us to run out on the court for our warm-up routines. i still can’t hear that song without feeling adrenaline rush through my system.

like in my first year of marriage – i got home from work, found eric on the porch, and heard him say that he had been let go from his job. i still look back and claim that as one of my favorite moments of our first year together.

you know something is about to happen. you are bracing yourself for the worst but hoping for the best. you don’t have clear expectations, but you know there will be both victory and defeat. and – as in the last example – you know that you have no choice but to move forward and trust that God knows what He is doing.

it’s moments like that when i have to surrender to the sovereignty of God. i can clench my fists and grip my planner and say, ‘this isn’t what i had in mind,’ but it won’t change the circumstances. it won’t change the plans God has for my sanctification and for His glory – despite what the enemy says.

because we do have an enemy in the battle.

i never want to give the enemy too much credit, as he is not necessarily the one who has instigated the battle. but i never want to underestimate him, because i know he will use the battle as a catalyst for his plot to destroy the kingdom of God.

satan wants to get in the last word when it comes to who God is and what He is doing. he wants to tell us that ‘God is not loving’ and ‘God is not worth fighting for’ and ‘God is not really on your side.’ he wants to wear us down with lies to exhaust us and remove us from being effective in the fight.

the good news is, our God has already won the battle. we have no need to fear – we are called to press on. to counter the enemy’s attack attempts with truth. to move forward in faith that God is taking care of everything. to hold fast to Him.

i am not afraid of the battles to come. i am not strong on my own, but i serve a victorious God, and i will rejoice in that moment before the battle begins, because it is a new opportunity to see what He can do.

and, especially in marriage, i will rejoice that i am fighting the battle with my husband by my side. there’s something romantic and empowering about being in it together, and it gives me continued confidence that the Lord knew what He was doing when He joined eric and i. not only to fight for each other, but to fight together.

so if you find me dancing around to survivor and practicing punches in the air, don’t be alarmed – i am in that moment before the battle begins, and i am preparing to fight.

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