the dreaded question – and the evidence of an intentionally-woven story

If you could do anything – have any job – what would it be?

I used to hate that question. In college, the answer was always, “I want to be on staff with Cru and do college ministry. Forever and ever.” Then, the Lord changed those plans two months before graduation. And for the past 18 months, I have felt burned by that.

I didn’t necessarily have a good reason for declining my acceptance to the internship program. There wasn’t some major dream job I wanted to pursue instead. That was my dream. And I felt like the Lord moved me away from it for no reason.

I was never bitter at God, but I was confused.

And for the past 18 months, I had no clue how to answer the previously stated question. I felt guilty saying that I wanted to do women’s ministry, since I had the chance and gave it up.


>>I actually wrote the above back in September – almost eight months ago – and never finished that thought. I was recently cleaning out my drafts, found this partially-written post, and was struck with amazement at God’s sense of irony and His perfect timing. The original motivation for posting this was a conversation Eric and I had while taking a drive one night. I was upset about the job I was working then, but beyond that, I was frustrated that I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. We had just decided that seminary was not the right decision for us, and I was feeling completely lost as far as my purpose and my dreams. Eric asked me that dreaded question – if you could do anything, what would be it be – and for the first time, I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. I said something along the lines of wanting to invest in the lives of other women, talking about Jesus and life and challenging them in their spiritual walks. To see baby believers and apathetic Christians come to a place where they are passionate for the Lord and consistently growing to a spiritual maturity.

God’s power in writing a story is just incredible. Two and a half months after that conversation, I started a new job, which also allowed me to see the possibility of change in my life. And as great as my experience has been at this job for five months, the Lord is calling me to something else. And it is to spend the full-time “working hours” of my week investing in women as we talk about Jesus and college and life, and how to catch the vision for what God is doing on their college campus. I am so excited to join staff with Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) and see what God has prepared for this next phase of life!   Everything has come full-circle, and I am so thankful for the path the Lord laid out.

An e-mail containing my resignation notice was sent out this past week at work, and a lump caught in my throat as I stared at it.

This is really happening.


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