I read about cinnamon tea once in a book. It sounded so delightful and romantic that I went out and bought some, then snuggled on the couch with my book and pretended like I was the heroine of the story.

Today, as the first day of October, seemed like the perfect opportunity to pull out the cinnamon tea and sip.

I love to picture myself as the heroine in a book. I narrate in my head what the writer would say about particular circumstances – everything from the constant creaking of our 4Runner  as I drive around town to my emotions at the end of the day’s events.

In real life, lately, I have felt more like the victim.  And I am realizing it is because I characterize myself as such. The perspective I take on the story affects how I see the story being played out. If every situation seems to fall short of what I wish would happen, I don’t see any progress in the story. The current is against me, and I can’t swim upstream. And I victimize myself so much that I end up hopeless, surrendered to despair and doubt of my purpose in the plot.

All of this – my perspective on myself and the story, the characterization I have assigned myself, the attitude I use to react to life’s lemons – is a reflection of how I view God. Because He is, after all, the author.

It all of a sudden changes from, “Things aren’t going my way” to “God doesn’t care about what I want. His plan isn’t good enough. He must not really love me, or I wouldn’t have to walk through this chapter.”

But I would never say or think that.

Not intentionally, anyway.

What do I actually believe about God?

• Do I believe that He offers me rest? (Matthew 11:28-29)
• Do I believe that He cares for me? (1 Peter 5:7)
• Do I believe that He will provide the desires of my heart? (Psalm 37:4)
• Do I believe that He will establish my steps? (Proverbs 16:9)
• Do I believe that He knows where I am going, even if I can’t see? (Job 23:8-10)

Unless I put that head knowledge into practice, I will go through life as a victim – I will feel alone and hopeless and directionless and vulnerable to each and every attack.

I cannot change the fact that there is a villain in the story.

But I can change the way I approach this enemy – I can remember that, as a heroine, I am not alone. I am desired by the God of the universe, and protected by the Almighty Father.

My course has been mapped out by the ultimate story writer, but it is up to me to change my perspective on where the story is going.

He is plotting something great, and it’s okay that I can’t figure out what will happen next. That’s the thrill of reading a book.